Have you ever talked to yourself out loud? In a restaurant? Me, too! Some people talk to their deceased loved ones. I’ve progressed to having conversations with myself.
At first, I was sure everyone around me heard me and thought I was losing it. In these times of ear buds, headphones, and smartphones, I finally realized the truth: unlikely.
But I still think I may be losing it. Don’t tell my kids. I don’t want them worrying about Laura.
Although I wasn’t born talking, I did begin my verbal expressions at an early age. We talked a lot in our family, and we discussed most things around the kitchen table.
When I married Gene (pastor and former radio announcer) and came to live with him and his three talkative teenagers, I knew I was in the right place. No one told me to be quiet or stop talking! They just let me join in.
Things changed a lot after Gene passed away and the kids had moved out on their own. Then I began to remember those warnings I’d heard. It’s okay to talk to yourself. When you start answering yourself, you have a problem. And when you’re actually conversing with yourself? Research probably hasn’t even been done on that yet!
Here are my crazy conversation confessions.
Grocery store debates: Occasionally, I find myself discussing my choices and purchases with myself in the cat food or produce sections. Sometimes I just need to say it out loud to resolve my thought process about what to buy. No one has ever had me arrested or even tried to join the conversation. But I think I have noticed a few carts moving in a wide arc to get past me!
Car dialogues: Probably the best place to talk with yourself. The other drivers can’t hear you, and they probably think you’re singing along with a song or talking on the phone anyway. Also a great place to vent about what’s bugging you. Get it out before you get home or before you’re around other people.
Household discourses: I’m sure my next door neighbor thinks I have at least one or two roommates (I don’t, by the way). But I occasionally feel the need to hear my own voice speaking words of truth or frustration out loud. At least my two cats enjoy listening!
Sanity savers: Especially when I’m on a long trip and driving by myself, the singing and talking I do help to keep me energized and focused. I’ve solved some problems and written some poetry during these times of thinking out loud.
Seriously, though, we have a better kind of conversation that will bring us healing, comfort, sanity, and peace. Our conversations with our Lord and Savior. He’s always there, ready to listen, teach, guide, and care. Remember the words to that old hymn:
What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer
So today, converse with God. Through prayer, you can always have a spiritual conversation with God. Even though you may not hear his voice alongside yours, he’s listening. He speaks to you through his Word. And he will never think you’re crazy, no matter what you share with him.
(Thanks to LarryDavisPhotography.com for the perfect photo!)
What crazy conversations or times have you experienced after losing a husband or another loved one? Share with us here. We promise we’ll still respect you because we’ve been there, too.