i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart) …
e. e. cummings
Thanks to Sarah Thebarge, author of The Invisible Girls, for encouraging me to ask this question: “What stories do I carry with me in my heart today?”
Here’s a poem that creeped in my heart today. I’m writing it down because it feels so strange and so real to me right now.
While I’ve Been Without You
My hair is the most beautiful shade of silver now.
My smile is a little smaller than it was.
A few more wrinkles decorate my forehead.
Six of your grandchildren were born
and five of them are learning how to be.
One is with you and God now.
I’m on my fifth job and
finally loving what I do.
My second car has just about expired.
I’m comfortable in the home I’ve made
with the leftovers of our life together.
Most of the time.
Some days, I still navigate on autopilot.
Other days, I’m engaged and engaging.
I surprise myself sometimes.
And if I passed you in the grocery store aisle tonight
pushing my cart filled with cat food and coffee and Gruyere cheese
would you recognize me?
I really don’t want to know.
Laura Warfel is a widow, writer, and follower of Jesus Christ. Her greatest joy is to bring others along with her on her faith journey. In 2015, because of the encouragement of the Launch Out Conference and Jon Acuff, she launched More Than A Widow on Facebook and Twitter. Today she blogs, tweets, and posts to help widows (and those who know them) find encouragement, hope, and resources for the journey. Her goal is to help all widows live beyond the label and live as more than a widow.
Copyright © 2017 by Laura Warfel