I Want to Be Her

Victoria Barkley. Galloping across her ranch in the big valley while cracking the whip to make her wishes known. Holding court in her living room for suitors from her past. I want to be her.

Sometimes you have to try on a lot of hats ...

Sometimes you have to try on a lot of hats ...

Jo Marie Barlow. Owner of Rose Harbor Inn on the coast of Washington. Welcoming handsome men as guests while entertaining the lonely handyman in her kitchen. I want to be her.

Hope Brady. No-nonsense police officer who knows how to shoot a gun and tackle a criminal. Falling in love with a former FBI agent and dreaming about all the days of their lives together. I want to be her.

Maggie Kiriakis. Married to one of the richest men in the world. Loved by all who know her. Owner of red dancing shoes and a restaurant called Chez Rouge. I want to be her.

Lucy Carmichael. Enjoying crazy adventures with her best friend Viv. Dating handsome Harry while figuring out ways to get more money from Mr. Mooney, her banker. I want to be her.

... To discover ...

... To discover ...

Jenny Hayden. Driving across country with a good looking guy from outer space who happens to look just like her deceased husband. They win a huge jackpot from a slot machine in Las Vegas. I want to be her.

All widows. All obviously much better off than I am. All fictional characters, by the way. Writers can create any kind of widows they want to create. And I can dream, can’t I?

But seriously. 

... That the best hat of all ...

... That the best hat of all ...

Victoria Barkley was held prisoner several times. She has to deal with four headstrong adult children who live with her.

Jo Marie Barlow has to maintain a huge, old house while wondering if she’ll have enough guests staying there to make a profit. Her handyman is moody and unpredictable. 

Hope Brady just had her spleen removed and has to live with the fact that she killed at least one man. A sociopathic district attorney is mad at her.

Maggie Kiriakis is confined to a wheelchair because of what her evil brother-in-law did to her. Her alcoholism still flares up sometimes, and she’s an AA sponsor for several people.

Lucy Carmichael has two kids to raise and never has enough money. She and Viv get into some of the weirdest situations that sometimes seem like they’ve happened before (maybe to Lucy and Ethel?).

Jenny Hayden is being chased by U.S. government officials because she’s harboring a fugitive. She ends up pregnant with an alien’s child.

Okay, so maybe I really don’t want to be any of these women. Maybe my life isn’t so bad after all.

Are you a widow wishing you weren’t? Are you a widow who often thinks the dinner party on the lawn at the other widow’s house looks like a lot more fun than dinner alone at your kitchen table? 

Take heart. God is there for you. God is reaching out to you in countless ways. He’s ready to take care of every detail of your life. If you’ll trust him. If you’ll let him.

You can be who you arethe woman God created. The woman he loves, protects, nurtures, provides for. Before this day is over, look in the mirror. Tell the woman you see there, “I love you. I appreciate you. I respect you. I’m looking out for you. You’re beautiful. You’re going to make it.”

... Might be no hat at all! You're fine just the way you are. The person God created you to be.

... Might be no hat at all! You're fine just the way you are. The person God created you to be.

“This is what the Lord All-Powerful says: … ‘Your widows also can trust in me.’” (Jeremiah 49:11).


Laura Warfel is a widow, writer, and follower of Jesus Christ. Her greatest joy is to bring others along with her on her faith journey. In 2015, because of the encouragement of the Launch Out Conference and Jon Acuff, she launched More Than A Widow on Facebook and Twitter. Today she blogs, tweets, and posts to help widows (and those who know them) find encouragement, hope, and resources for the journey. Her goal is to help all widows live beyond the label and live as more than a widow.