Unlearning, Part 3

I did it again the other day. As I was walking through Target, I saw a couple about my age, walking together and holding hands. I tried to remember what it’s like to be part of a couple. And I tried to silently celebrate my singleness. I didn’t do very well with either.

Since my first crush when I was 12 years old, I’ve imagined, planned, enjoyed, missed, and generally participated in that couple thing in our culture. But on the day I said good-bye to my husband Gene, I also said good-bye to being part of a couple. I just didn’t realize what all that meant for my life.

Oh, I’ve had a few dates since then and shared some fun times with male friends. But I haven’t discovered that special couple relationship again.

Couples get together for a variety of reasons. Companionship. Having children. Financial gain. Fear of being alone. Common interests and goals. God’s plan for their lives.

Singles are single for a variety of reasons. Priorities. Circumstances. Choices. Careers. Waiting for the right person. God’s plan for their lives. 

Unlearning that couple thing. I will admit that I definitely made those male-female romantic relationships a high priority in my life. In fact, I grew up believing that I had to be in a relationship with a man to be valued and important. And I chose too many men who didn’t value me or respect me. 

Sometimes it's difficult to be different. Trust God that he's put you in the right place at the right time for the right reasons. Whether you are single or part of a couple, God wants only the best for you.

Sometimes it's difficult to be different. Trust God that he's put you in the right place at the right time for the right reasons. Whether you are single or part of a couple, God wants only the best for you.

I had to learn to let God choose for me. Probably the most difficult lesson of my life. Finally, I surrendered to him. 

A man or no man. A husband or no husband. I’ve learned to trust God’s provision.

As I travel this non-couple journey at this time in my life, I have an important job to do. I’m sure this is one of the most important jobs God has ever given me to do: pray for, encourage, support, be there for the couples I know. 

Relationships and marriages are definitely a spiritual battleground in today’s world. The enemy loves nothing better than to destroy what God has designed and created. I’m standing with the couples I know and fighting with them to protect the gift God has given them.

Being part of a couple again may or may not be in my future. I’m trusting my God and his plan instead of obsessing and trying to take control. There’s one thing I’m sure of. God is my all in all: father, brother, husband, friend, savior, deliverer, protector, defender, provider, confidant, teacher, encourager. 

How about you?